Dear Abby: Creep's presence keeps woman from attending get-togethers

I'm all about taking a step back from the whole "avoid Bob's bar" thing . I mean, if your friends know about the drama and are still cool with it, why should you be? It's not like they're enabling him or anything . And what's the worst that could happen? You run into Bob and have to make small talk for 5 minutes? Big deal! Get over yourself . Or worse, if the bar owner knows about your trauma, maybe you can even use that as a conversation starter to break the ice with new people . And those who think therapy is the answer are just trying to take the easy way out . Life's too short to be controlled by fear and past experiences. Just own it and move on !

I feel so bad for the girl who had Bob break into her home all those years ago . She's clearly still super traumatized from that experience & I can totally see why she'd be anxious around his bar . Like, who wouldn't be? It's not just about Bob being friendly, it's about the fact that he invaded her space when she was vulnerable . Her friends are right to consider her feelings, maybe they should even talk to the owner of the bar about making sure she's comfortable there or finding a way to avoid those gatherings altogether .

Meanwhile, I'm kinda with Dear Abby on this one too... have you ever noticed how we put all our eggs in one basket when it comes to love? Like, what if that guy breaks your heart & then you're stuck alone? It's not like there aren't plenty of other fish in the sea . Maybe she should take a chill pill and focus on building herself up instead of waiting around for Mr Right . Just sayin'.

omg i feel so bad for her!!! she deserves to feel safe & happy while hangin out with friends, you know? i think it's totally fine that her friends are aware of Bob's history & the owner knows him too... they could just avoid his place altogether or find another restaurant to try out instead of putting her in a situation where she might feel anxious or even triggered

OMG I feel so bad for that woman! She's already had such a traumatic experience in her life and now she has to deal with anxiety about social gatherings? That's just too much . And I don't get why her friends keep going to Bob's bar, like, they should be prioritizing her feelings over their own hangout spot . But at the same time, I feel for them because Bob's history is pretty messed up . Maybe she could talk to a therapist about it and stuff? My cousin had a similar experience with someone breaking into her house and it really messed her head .

Anyway, what if you're single and just want to chill out with friends or try new things? Like, I'm thinking of taking up painting again, but I don't have anyone to share it with . Maybe online courses or something? That's how my friend learned to cook! And I guess Dear Abby is right about focusing on yourself before looking for love ... unless you're like me and kinda happy with being single .

It's wild how our minds can be twisted into knots by past experiences... This woman's situation is super relatable, you know? It's like, one person's trauma becomes this huge obstacle for someone else to navigate. And it makes me think about how we all carry these emotional scars with us, sometimes without even realizing it. Like, that poor woman was literally broken into and her stuff stolen 20 years ago... can you imagine the impact that must have had on her life?

And now, she's worried about attending friend gatherings because of Bob's place? That's like, a whole different level of anxiety. It's like our brains are wired to associate certain spaces with trauma or danger. It makes me wonder, how do we overcome those associations? Do we have to confront the thing that scares us head-on, or can we just avoid it altogether?

And then there's this other reader who's wondering if they'll ever find long-term love after multiple failed engagements... I think it's interesting that Dear Abby is pushing them to focus on personal growth and hobbies instead of waiting for a romantic partner. It's like, what if our true happiness comes from within? Not just from finding someone else to complete us?

I mean, can't we just make event calendars with a 'no Bob's place' filter or something? Like, let's prioritize our mental health and safety over being friendly to someone who traumatized one of our own. It's not that hard to choose another restaurant every month, right? I also feel for the person struggling to find love after multiple failed engagements... maybe it's time to put those hopes on hold until we're in a better place emotionally? But what about the therapist option? Like, should we really seek out professional help just because we're feeling anxious about Bob's bar? I guess the take away is that our well-being is super important and we need to prioritize it, even if it means being a little inconvenient sometimes.